E3 (By Kelly)

(Originally posted on MySpace by KELLY on 05.11.06)

h, yes, Chip. You are becoming quite talented at breaking me in to things that are all together new and exciting for me. First pizzookie (rule 1, eat it before it gets hard.uh.wha?), then sushi (chip roll is my new fav.uh.why is everything a sex joke with you Chip?), and now E3 (Chip is STILL impressed I knew exactly what it stood for!).

The day began with filling up the tank and heading out in a fair amount of traffic at 9:30am. Music choice of the day (well, the last 2 days truth be told) was the Red Hot Chili Peppers new double album Stadium Arcadium. If you don't have it, BUY IT. It's an absolute MUST HAVE to any music lover's collection. Every song on that album is fantastic. But, here I go getting off the subject. Where was I? Ah, yes, E3.

We sit in traffic for what seems like a short time, but of course, that's because the company aka Chip is in the presence of pure genius coupled with nonstop laughs because Im funny. Anyway, we drive through with no real bumps in the road and arrive at LA Convention Center approximately 10:30ish. Just prior to arriving, we get a call from Simon who is anxiously awaiting our arrival (we love Simon). Didn't you know we're famous? Anyhoo, after paying an obscene amount for parking ($40) but getting a sweet spot where we weren't blocked in, we walked a couple of blocks to the CC. While walking, I am taking in all of the various banners and signs and people in general. Of course, the minute we step on CC grounds, we are stopped every 100 yards or so by someone who knows Chip or vice versa. If you have never experienced this, I must say its quite fascinating. Very cool for me to step into his world and see it from a completely different perspective. The best part was the knowledge that for every one of the 100 people I met on Day 1 of E3, they all have some story about him that I am just dying to hear and they are just dying to share. Of course, it involves exposed balls and alcohol consumption. That's odd isn't it? Weird.

Alas, we wait in a couple of lines to get the highly sought after badge; Ive heard people have actually committed atrocious unspeakable acts in order to obtain one. While in line we meet a guy by the name of Josh who, of course, works with Doug Finch who was in England with Chip many years ago. They swap stories of which Chip tells Josh to tell Doug, what floor? (say in slurred drunken talk for effect). Somehow, I just know what I have just witnessed with be re-visited before the end of the night. I can tell the future too, didn't you know?

So, now that we have jumped through the required red tape to obtain the golden ticket for entrance to the show, we call Simon to meet up with him. Mind you, its 11:00am by now, so the only place to meet that would remotely make sense is Gordon Biersch to start drinking, yo. After drinking a beer, we head on into the convention and go straight to the Activision booth. Lets just say from the minute I crossed the threshold of the doors to South Hall, that my senses went on overload. For those who know me, you know I'm ADD, so imagine that coupled with the most insane visual stimuli you could possibly imagine from my peripheral vision on. INSANE. Thats all I can say. I think I actually incurred whiplash from my head darting from one direction to the other. I try desperately to focus on what Simon is saying about the new Tony Hawk game, while absorbing the Call of Duty 2 tournament station (my son is a Call of Duty junkie). We walk to the other side of the Activision area to watch (and I filmed) the trailer for the new Tony Hawk Project 8 that Simon worked on. Excellent is all I can say.

At this point, hunger has taken its toll on both of us, so we head over to the café to catch up with Damien and Ning for the driest burger this side of the Colorado. So I get to finally meet Damien and Ning. Like all of Chips friends that I have met to this point, I can see why he speaks so highly of all of you. Really. We eat, then we take off and go back to West Hall, go our separate ways, Chip and I roam aimlessly.

Moving onward, we headed to South Hall (I think? ADD sorry) to check out Playstation 3 where Chip distracted the big black armored guard who kept saying, take a step back people, take a step back while I took some close up shots. It only made sense to go straight to Nintendo from there where we hoped to get a peek at the newest Wii system, only to follow the line around the whole hall before saying, f-it. Chip had a meeting with Activision so after being stopped, again, numerous times about every 100 yards or so by random individuals who either knew Chip, knew of him, or who had worked with him on one occasion or another. Honestly, this was one of the best parts of the show. It was really cool for me to see him so excited and thrilled to be at a place where he could catch up with old friends. And of course, thank god, all of his friends are cool and no one was offended by my touchy-feely nature and this habit I have of hugging everyone around me.

So, back to Activision booth we go. Chip takes off for his meeting with his boss and some crazy Brit named Martin who, by the way, had some amazing stories of his own. So I wander aimlessly with my ADD and my 25 personalities to keep me company, bouncing from booth to booth, jaw on the ground, drool running down my face before I'm rescued from my own demise from none other than Simon. Hes hanging with some Australian dude who for the life of me I cannot remember his name. Tragic. We head over to Microsoft and check out the Xbox stuff, then went and checked out the new Destroy All Humans 2 game. Pretty cool. All I remember is something random about finding the hippies and storing the bongwater. I don't know what that means.

Next thing you know me, Simon and the Aussie are at the EA booth which was the most amazing thing, I swear I almost had a seizure. When all was said and done we were back at the Activision booth watching Tony Hawk and a bunch of other skaters do their thang on the smallest ½ pipe Ive seen. INSANE. That is all I have to say about that. When all was said and done, the Aussie took off for a meeting leaving me and Simon looking at each other for about a ½ a second before he says what I'm thinking, lets go drink. Right on. Now were talking. And if I know Chip, he'll know right where to find us.

We make our way back to GB with a restroom pit stop along the way and some random comments about can you feel that?!!?!. WTF. Hey, I'm having a great time. Suckit. Before we can get our first drink, Chipper calls and I let him know where we are, well, because hes super genius like me, hes walking into the bar and there we all are. Me, Chip, Simon, Eric, Martin, and a handful of other people who I apologize for not remembering, but after meeting 100 people that Chip knew, my brain was absolutely mush. I think to myself, I'm so overstimulated, I may never sleep again.

We hang out for a while before heading over to the Bonaventure, another new thing for me compliments of the Chipster himself. Ive lost count of the cherries hes popped now, someone help me? The Interplay party was very cool. We drank vodka cranberries and ate fish and chips (bahahahaa). Before I know it we've hooked up with Nord, Damien, Ning, Brian, Eric, and a ton of other people who I am really sorry I just cannot access that part of the brain that holds your names. Forgive me. At any rate, the party was lots of fun. We head upstairs, taking the True Lies elevator to the rotating bar on top. What an amazing sight of the city from up there. More drinks, pretzels and, of course, talk about cock, cock, and more cock. Alas, the night must come to an end.

My assessments for the day were as follows:

1. I cannot wait for E3 next year!
2. ADD is a good thing at E3
3. I think I want to move into the EA booth.
4. Chip is a pro at poppin the cherries of my new experiences
5. It is still abundantly clear to me why he speaks so highly of all of his friends
6. Kudos Simon for taking me under his wing and saving me from my own certain demise
7. Chips passion for his work is by far the most extreme of any I have ever known. He loves his work and its obvious after my experience at E3 that his reputation in the industry proceeds him. Im proud of you, Chipper.
8. I still want to move into the EA booth.
9. Can you feel that?!?!? will never hold the same context for me again.
10. I must go buy Cinnabons and attempt the Damien/Ning way of warming it up. Sweet!
11. I cant wait for E3 next year!

For the record, met some amazing people, got to hang out with the absolutely most fantabulous individual on the planet, and I got to write about it for all of you fine people to read. Thanks to everyone who made me feel right at home. Looking forward to next year!