Comments and other stuff

Since I have read all of these posts, but for some reason, I am STILL unable to post a comment here and there, I have decided to write my own blog. :) I'm not sure why I can't post comments; I can only assume it's because I'm one of the managers.

So in no particular order...Here are some comments that I would have made if I could have posted them!

1) Continue with the "Homer and the Fly" stories. I think it's a fabulous idea and I would love to hear about their adventures. =)

2) The only person in my family that I have a true relationship with is my sister, Sheena. Sadly, she lives in my home state of Maryland with her husband and their 4 children. We talk at least 2-3 times a week and not only is she my sister by blood, she is also my sister in the Lord. I love her to pieces and wish she lived closer (at least within driving distance).

As for the rest of my family (my dad, my older sister, my brother, my step-mom), my relationships with them have always been fractured since as far back as I can remember; especially with my dad. I am not ashamed to say that I grew up in a very emotionally and at time, physically abusive environment. My dad left myself and my 2 younger siblings in the care of my abusive and controlling mother and decided to move 3,000 miles away to California. My mom (who I haven't talked to in 8 years) created a tremendous amount of dissension between my older sister and myself, almost ensuring that we would not forge a healthy relationship. My brother, he's the one who's always sitting on the fence, going with the flow of what my dad and older sister do. Of course, these are my opinions based on my experiences.

I would be lying if I thought for a second that neither myself, Chip and the kids were not hurt by the choices that my family has made. Especially Robbie, because he is the oldest and, sadly, he has felt first hand the sting of their rejection. Of course it hurts. Unfortunately, I cannot control my families behavior, I can only make the choices that I feel are necessary to protect my family. Therefore, I have made the choice not to allow a close relationship with any of my other family members because I recognize that the relationships are not healthy. My dad knows that he is more than welcome to spend time with my kids, but only while I am present. Those are my rules for my kids as their parent. As a result, because other members of my family are "uncomfortable" with my presence, my kids don't see their granddad. I set the boundaries and my dad has made his choice. It hurts and it's unfortunate, but it is what it is.

3) This past year has been full of struggles, trials and tribulations. The events of this past year has definitely taken a toll of us as a family and as individuals. This past week, I have discovered that, in addition to just the past year, that I, personally, have some healing to do with regards to my upbringing. My sister, Sheena, recommended this book "Changes That Heal" by Dr. Henry Cloud. I just received it about a week ago, and I have to admit, suddenly things are making more sense to me. In a nutshell, the book addresses issues in the past that have the potential to prevent a person from truly bonding in relationships. For instance, I am a Christian. I have been for about 12 years or so. God always felt so distant from me, and I always questioned whether I was truly forgiven, or whether he truly loved me or if he just wanted me to be good. Through this book, I have discovered that the issue truly lies within me and my ability forge true and bonding relationships...with God and with others. I am discovering the extent to which I don't trust people, and my denial of this fact all these years. But most importantly, I am finally feeling the amazing power of grace and truth. For the first time, I am truly bonding in my relationship with God and His word means so much more and makes much more sense now that I have a firm understanding of what grace and truth are all about. I am on a journey to true self discovery and I am definitely choosing (with the help of the Almighty) to make the changes that I know I need to make so I can continue to bond closely with God AND with others. Just in the past week I can feel the changes that are starting to take place in my heart and I'm thankful. Although I am a long way from completely healing (after all, healing takes time), I feel secure in knowing that I am finally on the path that I have avoided my entire life.

So, I've sat here about all the time I'm able to. I'm glad I was finally able to give some input on these blogs. Have a super day!